what is important now?
To me.
Time or relationship. Having realised that this issue has come back haunting me again. Still remember it was 1 year back when I've just started working. Back then, I was so tied up with time spend with friends and had no time for myself. Depressed with the type of situation I was in, yet I could not do much. Eventually, continue to meet up with ppl - poly, su, sec pals. Mainly during the weekends - burned.
Now and again, this feeling is returning. Isnt better than previous as now additional responsibility is put upon me. Student again. This has indirectly place a financial responsibility on me as well.
Needed to talk to someone but who actually understands. Yet I dont want to bring my troubles to others when they do have their own.
Can I declare sabbatical leave from wol?
I do not know why we only meet up only when there is birthday. I'm not asking alot. Actually, I mean, can't we meet as and when we miss each other for dinner, shopping or any other simple daily activities.
On my list when i want call ppl out for dinner or watever, 1st is candice, eddie....
It really doesnt matter if i call them and they cant make it some times. I'm fine.
Seems to me that it has slowly become an obligation to once in a while catch up with friends. Why is this so? Do I hate it? NO. Do I dislike it? Yes. Why? Because it has to come with feelings not a obligational task.
I really need a break to revitalise myself...
Oct weekend is so packed. Hate it. And why am I not concentrating enough in my studies. No one can answer this.
Until, Sunday after the HOPE run. It's been awhile I've attended the 11am mass @ church. Father Yeo's homily gave light to my dullness, that everyday we are bless by God to be awake and alive thru his works. Every day has a purpose and reason for you to live, to live his words and do his works. Be forgiving and passionate to every day's life.
To myself - Jean, dont you ever run away! U didnt in the past when memories were bad because you believed. Now, just believe and all things will be fine according to God's way.
Let me stay onshore away from the waves and tides, please.
Sometimes giving too much- you need to replenish.
*have i ever said something that hurt you significantly or insignificantly? Please tell me, at least i am aware and can take note in the future. as I understand its sad more than hurting to hear that from a friend.
Jean am i.
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Let him be the motivation to change you!
Growing up involves ton of decision making; sometimes it is at an expense of someone else.
As much as you hated it, this is fact of life and is here to stay.
As he said to others; he can’t help those who don’t help themselves.
Help yourself by picking up all the shattered pieces and complete your vision to carry on with life.
You have to accept all weakness granted upon yourself. Individually, it’s just how we deal with it.
1) JUST STOP THINKING TOO MUCH.
Gathering with friends is definitely sweet, heart warming at times. Your poly, su, sec pal are all young! We can’t work towards to make EVERYONE Happy.
Acknowledge it; we are humans, not robots. Even our bodies will give way when overworked.
2) Are you concern about how people think about you?
Why bother? This is Jean's Life so just be yourself. Your thoughts and emotions are understood ONLY by yourself for a reason.
We can Sacrifice and Compromise ourselves for others ONLY out of FREE WILL!
No one has the RIGHTS to pass any judgment and even doubts AS LONG AS YOU ARENT committing a crime.
3) In the test of time, sad but truly not all friends will stay with you throughout in the course of life. As much as you try to hold on, you will just wore yourself out even more.
ACKNOWLEDGE THIS.
Friendship is not build on sole proprietorship.
It is base on volunteering self.
As the widely popular overused phase ever existed -
“It takes two hands to clap”
The right and left hands have TOGETHER produced a harmonious effect to ACKOWNLEDGE an action.
Friends too will have to endure the test of time which includes understanding of one another on a volunteering basis because it is supposed to be out of FREEWILL.
Friendship should not be selfish.
If they fail to understand, have faith in them, YOU should learn to let go too, because someday, they will and it not be too late to rebuild the lost connection as we are STILL LIVING ;)
I may not be a 100% saint and have my own shares of disappointing my beloved friends at times.
So don’t be afraid to keep trying!
This course of life is about self-improvement too!
Do not be overwhelmed by my thoughts because those may not be you. However, I just wish to highlight what I feel about this issue.
Jean, in reality, emotionally you are far stronger than me SO BE PROUD!
Someday, our life story will be unfolded ;)
With Regards
Ed
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