New Energy New Effort New Beginning!!

Thanks to those who care for me via thru sms, email or calls. At least, I know someone is reading my thoughts and feelings here.

I would first apology for the mixed feelings and behaviour I had previously. I am now slightly better. I believe the cause maybe due to stress cos during the past few months.

It was friends, birthdays, gathering , meet up with friends for lunch and ex-colleuges. In additional, I had change of work environment in April. Time was needed for adjustment in lifestyle and some changes were happening.

Moreover, in June as I began to settle down at work, some changes came by. Study. Decided to further my studies, in view to increase knowledge and have a better understanding of my area of work and sector. There's only pros and no cons.

Hence, lifestyle once again has change and so did my expendture. More caution with spending like for food, entertainment, clothes and other luxury products. Need to save up so thats why. Paying for own education is not a simple task as you need discipline and motivation.

Some may think, why not get your parents to pay first then pay them back when you have started working!

Well, I think otherwise as we are of eligibe age to earn the bucks on our own and equally it means we have the ability to bear the cost of our lifestyle and expenditure. Loan may be an easy thing to get monetary issues settle for once, base on scenario. However, come to think about it, you'll be in debt when you graduate. Would you then want your elderly parents still continue to pay off this loan for you.

Saying you're pay them back when u start working. Thats gonna be part/whole amount of allowance you're giving your parents. Let's say the loan is $20k, Exclude interest rate.

If you give $ 300 a month to parents as home allowance and repayment of loan. You need to pay back 66 months. Wow thats like 5 years. If you earn $2400. After all the C** deduction etc, bal: $1900. How long do u want/need to repay this amount when actually these aren't allowance to parents in actual fact.

Image u need to pay this amount to the bank. They might have already start charging you interest rate. Then $20k would not be the final sum.

In summary, I mean work and earn for what it deem fit. Be responible to yourself, parents, family and others around. Every single action, words, thought you had would have an impact (visible and invisible).

Truely, working does make you grow in a different way. Unlike in SU, School, at Projects and at events. If you like your job, the people, the challenges, you're like working.

Man do I sound like superworkaholic?

Comeon! I'm just keeping my life just as exciting like poly days. Stay cool and chilled. LOL

*Note to take away: I am Who I am, No one can change me unless I want to.

Jean

To begin this entry, I simply had to refer to my 'diary calendar' to check what date is it today! shocking as I could not even remember the date. How can!

Now waiting for my class to start, suddenly felt tremendously tired and emotional till I want to make use of this 5 mins to pen down my thoughts and feelings. Instead of messaging my friends and 'disturb them just to keep me accompanied.

Lifestyle has been changing for me. Is it a tremendously change or a 36' change? I'm not too sure too. However, I know that my thoughts have change to practicality; words has become more forefront and blunt; behaviour had been even more individualistic.

I've once told a friend that (I need to talk to someone man. As I've been listening and accompanying others. Yet, I want time for my self. I want to relax and talk all I want about anything openly. Basically, want attention but avoiding companion.) How could this happen to me.

Did I close my own doors? or I am in the mids of destroying it.

Sometimes it meant no harm with those words of mine. But it just came out. Maybe I have no other ways of expressing myself better or in the way people seems to perceive of me.

Life just need to be really simple and cry out loud when you need to!

Truly, my words at times of truth from the heart has not change!

class starting, will continue next time.
*PS feeling much better after writing (expressing) this out.

jean.