Sudden Swing!

What swings? A Swing!

Up, Down. Fast, Slow. Energetic, Weakly. Ambitious, Subtle. Dangerous, Safe. Constant, inconsistent. Enjoyable, Disgusting. Dared, Feared. Glad, Worry. Future, Past. Front, Back.

Another thing that swing most is a Mood. Is this in control? I have no idea. I only know the result. Either pissed off or feel blissful.

Good example. 7 Dec, completed the Standard Chartered 10 Km marathon. Felt really good and happy. Next hour or so, I'm pissed by my friend. Spoilt the whole day.

Stayed at home recently, glad and happy that I have all the time I want. But irritated by the fact of missing friends yet don't want to meet them. Super duper contradicting. x_X

Having my block leave soon. Looking forward and the trip to Phuket. A night spoilt cos I Missed My Corporate Finance class. Freak!! It lesson on Dividend Policy - one of the most useful and interesting chapter I would like. And very related to work. But missed cos of work and for block leave. See how contradicting life can be. The most terrible fact is that is the last lesson before term break!!!!! Freaking irritated and sad. Same complained to norman again. Sorry for that. Cos i know only you will entertain my such msg.

Mical made it better when she initate to ask out for study on sat. Withdrawn initially. Tried to politely reply that I may not want and change topic. But she kept returning on track on the topic. Yea. At the moment I'm fine to meet with her. Maybe I really need someone to accompany to study as I'm seriously getting no where! I hate this. Its so stupid and I'm seeing this happen. Its even more stupid. Crap.

Frustrated so decided to blog. Yes, it tonight that these happened.

On the LRT. This theory surfaced. Don't know if you agree.
Your family are the parent tree sheltering you at growing stage.

When you grow up, your limbs, knowledge, humane, feelings, teaching and culture are the roots that grow deep and strong into earth holding you real tight and firm in the forest. In this, you can weather against any storm that comes your way.

While, friends, are the same species as you whom you share the same soil and environment when growing up.

But if bad weather you choose to let go, you will lose your roots, and fall. You may fall but friends are near the environment whom will give you the cushion support to prevent you from complete collapsing. Your family, will block the bad weather even before it reaches you. SO You Should Never Let Loose. Hold and Grip Tight to the roots in that soils of that environment where you grown up. You can grow very very tall to see, feel and participate in the world. But you don't need to transplant to other environment to be in the World. Cos in those place. Trees around you are not the same species in the new environment with new soil. Most importantly, you lose your shelter.


Good night. Merry Christms and Happy New Year.
I want a happy and stress free trip. It will be. Keep things simple. Memorable does not mean expensive. Relax and let the time go slowly.

Close to nature thats what I want to experience in this trip. Not shopping.

Jean.

Where I am now is where you see me!

6 Dec 08. POA class in the afternoon. Pass marathon bag to chinleong. Pissed by the librairian,



Finally settle down at the table with my reference text. Surfing the UOL student portal. Random check at email.



Where I receive a warm and touching regards from a friend. I laugh and crap with this person so often then i do to others. It was unexpected to recieve a heartwarming message from this person. It was personal so I shall not share with you who this person is. Lets name this person, xiaoling bah.



Opened my mails, read the first msg. I ignored it be it watever msg it was. Next msg had a unique title! I was surprise too.



Went on reading. The very 1st sentence has made me teary already. Repeatedlly i read the 1st sentence and yes.. the more i read that 1st sentence goodness i'm gonna cry. In the library, I dont want to be label and a mad or heartbroken women so i kept reading although the 1st sentence is really difficult to finish.

Sorry i'm not sharing content with u. But from xiaoling's msg, I've realise that she has grown up a lot. compare to a few years ago. Yes, i agree 21 means some changes in our life. But in my opinion, do not take 21 as an important indicator or something which determines if you have achieve something successful in your own context. It makes your life worse.

I once remember either eddie or norman said this. 21 is only a convienent number which the official state that you are an adult with resposibility of what you do. If you do wrong, get punish. Conveient age to draw the line of punishment.

20 was scaring. Like going into another phrase. But come to think about it, not exactly. I trust that we all need to live to the fullest and have lovely, precious and long lasting memories in the whole of our life we have lived.

It's all in the mind. If you do not agree. There is nothing i can do cos i dont want to influence or create mega dispute on this topic.

I do love all my gals and pals whom I still keep in contact with, be it once a year or frequently. In all it counts. Pardon me for the coming drastic changes in my life for the next few months cos i'm gonna change my lifestlye in stages.

Give me some time as I need to recharge as well and redevelop some objectives(good time as the new year is coming).

If you throw me aside after this period. Be it. I wouldnt bother to get you back when I'm back to the happy me.

I'm never a gentle person, never a gracious person, never a considerate person, never a understanding person. Who knows i might have scold in deep in my heart before. Maybe I didnt even know myself. lol after so many years i'm back to this qns again. .. but nvm,,life's journey is about find out more about yourself and blah blah blah....

Thanks candice for pointing the portion u dont like about me.when damien asked previously..--. being slow in reacting at times..
Qns : Do you really think I'm truthfully slow? A qns to ask you who are reading. If you have an anwser do let me know. Cos I have the answer to this qns but no way i'll share it. :)

Thanks Xiaoling!.. You are also a person I love too. And you are one person who makes this blog alive too. :)

ok..,. done for now.. books on!!! jia you to you, reading my blog, too!!

to love and be loved,
Jean